


cities in dust

by garafthel (sister_wolf)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-05-07 12:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5456078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sister_wolf/pseuds/garafthel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn and Rey are both survivors. </p>
<p>Surviving leaves scars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Finn learns that Rey has nightmares their first night on the _Falcon_. 

The freighter was never meant to be a passenger vessel and ten years in the desert certainly haven't done it any favors. Han shows them to a tiny room that's barely big enough for a couple of flip-down bunks and hands them a couple of ragged blankets. "Sorry it ain't exactly luxury accommodations, kids."

Finn shrugs. "It's fine. I'm used to sleeping in the barracks."

"I usually sleep in the leg of a dead AT-AT." Rey ducks her head and looks embarrassed when they both turn to stare at her. "Anyway, this will be fine."

"All right then, AT-AT girl." _Han-fucking-Solo_ gives her that crooked grin that Finn imagines was irresistible when the guy was about fifty years younger. He's not jealous that Rey's cheeks turn a little pink as she smiles back at the smuggler. He's _not_.

They settle down on the hard, narrow bunks, huddling under the thin blankets. Finn might have expected it to be difficult to fall asleep on a strange ship without the familiar sounds of his fellow troopers, but it's been a long frakking day and he's pretty sure his bruises have bruises. He drops off to sleep almost immediately.

At first he's not sure why he's awake. Finn blinks up at the ceiling, dimly lit by the status indicator lights by the door. Then he hears Rey thrashing in the bunk below him and an almost unintelligible murmur of, "No...no..."

"Rey. Hey, Rey, wake up," Finn whispers.

She keeps thrashing and he hears her foot thud against the wall. 

His immediate thought is that he has to wake her up before the officers notice there's a disturbance. He's already dropped to the floor, crouching next to her bunk, before he remembers that there aren't any officers to worry about anymore. Finn pauses for a second and considers letting her be, but by then his hand is moving without his conscious decision to shake her by the shoulder. 

Rey wakes up with a strangled yell, her eyes wide open and blank with terror. Finn jerks backward, almost falling on his ass before he catches his balance.

"I'm sorry, you were having a nightmare," he blurts.

She stares at him for a few moments in silence, her chest heaving as she catches her breath. There are tear tracks down her cheeks. He really wants to kiss them away but she'd probably stab him with something if he tried.

"I'll just, um," he gestures with his thumb at the bunk above hers. "Yeah."

As he stands up and prepares to clamber back into the top bunk, Rey puts out her hand to stop him. "Don't go."

Finn freezes in place, trying desperately to figure out if that was the invitation to join her _in bed_ that it kind of sounded like. "...Okay?"

Sitting up, Rey takes a deep breath and scrubs the back of her hand across her face. "Would you mind terribly sharing my bunk? Just sleeping together, I mean, not sex," she adds with that bright, laser-sharp look of hers.

"Um." He blinks. "Okay."

Finn isn't sure if he'll actually be able to sleep while touching someone else. Troopers have sex, of course--as much as they can get away with--but it's all fast, urgent fumbles in dark corners before the officers catch them. He's never _slept_ with anyone before. But he's managed at least four hours of sleep already which is enough to function on, and besides even if he hadn't, he wouldn't be dumb enough to turn Rey's offer down.

He grabs his blanket from his bunk and settles down flat on his back as far over to the side of her bunk as possible, feeling the edge of the platform digging into his shoulder blade. Rey makes an impatient noise and tugs on his shirt until he slides over enough that he's no longer in danger of falling off the bunk. Then she pushes at his arm until he shifts it out of the way so that she can curl up on her side with her head on his shoulder and her arm slung over his chest.

Finn blinks up at the bottom of the top bunk. This feels...surprisingly nice. He's not really sure what to do with the arm on her side and eventually just lets it flop against the wall. She grumbles under her breath, grabbing his wrist and tugging until he gets the idea and wraps his arm around her back with his hand resting on her hip. 

"Haven't you ever slept with anyone before?"

"It's against regs for troop--uh, when you're in training," he covers his near-slip. "And after I was finished with training I was always too busy."

"What about before? Surely you weren't always in training," she says with a teasing note in her voice.

He's still trying to come up with a convincing lie when she adds so quietly that he can barely hear her, "I dreamed that you were all gone, you and Han and Chewie. I was all alone on the _Falcon_ and I couldn't get the hyperdrive to function no matter what I tried."

There's a long pause and then she adds in a voice that makes him ache, "You had all left me behind and I was going to drift in space alone until I died." 

"I wouldn't leave you on your own, not ever," Finn blurts. He can feel little shivers traveling through her body. Without thinking, he wraps both arms around her and holds her tight. 

Squeezing his eyes closed, Finn makes a silent promise to himself. He couldn't protect Slip or Poe, but he will protect Rey or die trying. (And someday those first two failures might stop hurting so much.)

She makes a low noise in her throat and then sighs and relaxes into his grip. "I'm glad I met you, Finn."

Greatly daring, Finn presses a kiss to the soft hair at the crown of her head. "Me too, Rey. Me too."

Her arm tightens around him and he thinks that he feels her brush a kiss against the fabric over his chest. 

Smiling, Finn drifts off to the sound of Rey's steady breathing as the _Millennium Falcon_ speeds through the endless dark between the stars.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really a WIP, but I may have a few more little vignettes to add after this one.

He wakes up to thunderous knocking on the door of their bunkroom. A moment later the door opens and Solo sticks his head in and shouts, "Breakfast!"

Finn tries to stumble to his feet on reflex but there's something tangled around him, holding him down to the bunk. Looking down, he realizes that Rey has twined herself around him like razor wire in her sleep with her arms wrapped around him and her head resting on his chest. 

He can almost hear Captain Phasma's cool, pitiless voice. _Fraternization is against regulations._

Solo's eyebrows go up when he sees them and he chuckles, shaking his head. "Breakfast is in the main cabin, such as it is. Come and get it whenever you two, uh, disentangle yourselves." As Solo's footsteps retreat down the corridor, Finn can hear him muttering something that sounds like, "Kids."

Finn hears Rey stifle a giggle against him but he's caught, frozen, his heart pounding in his chest. 

_Report for reconditioning, FN-2187_. The words echo in his head. 

Rey's voice sounds like he's hearing it from underwater as she asks, "Are you okay?"

He's not with the First Order anymore. He's not a Stormtrooper. Captain Phasma isn't here. No one can send him to reconditioning for fraternization. He can sleep with a girl in his bed if he wants to.

He's not FN-2187 anymore.

Not yet able to answer in words, Finn shakes his head jerkily and concentrates on trying to slow his breathing. If he can control his breathing, he can calm himself down. He has to somehow avoid consciously thinking about calming himself down though or else he'll panic even more.

Rey is silent and still, lying next to him with her hand spread over his heart. It feels strange to have someone this close to him, but it seems to be helping in some way. He can practically feel a sensation of cool calmness spreading from her hand into his heaving chest. 

Sooner than he expected, his racing thoughts slow down and Finn can take a deep breath again. "Sorry." His voice is hoarse.

"Don't be. Are you okay?" She props herself up on one elbow, leaning over him with her eyebrows drawn together. Finn tentatively identifies her expression as worried. About him?

"Yeah. Solo just surprised me, that's all."

He's pretty sure she doesn't believe him, but she doesn't push him any further. He's grateful for that, because there's no way he could explain any of it without poking more holes in his flimsy story about being a member of the Resistance. And besides, he is better now. He's got the shaky, jumpy feeling he always gets after one of these attacks, but he's fine.

He can handle this. He _will_ handle this. 

Trying to look calm and collected and not at all like a recently defected Stormtrooper, Finn sits up and asks, "What did Solo want?"

"He said something about "breakfast." What's that?"

Giving her a incredulous look, he explains slowly, "It's morning meal. Food that you eat in the morning."

"Why didn't you say so?" She flings herself out of bed. Finn is still sitting there blinking at her when she reaches the doorway. Rey turns and makes an impatient beckoning motion at him. "Hurry up! Slow feet get no meat." And then she's gone.

He can't help but laugh, his mood immediately brightening. 

As he follows the sound of Rey's voice down the corridor, Finn finds himself wondering if all outsiders are like her or if Rey is actually as unusual as he suspects.


End file.
